The Butterfly Circus

This was a very powerful video we watched for spiritual renewal week last night during release:

Original:
http://www.thedoorpost.com/hope/The Butterfly Circus/


Part one:


Part 2:



Let this settle before you read what I have to say about it


Let God speak to you and listen to what He has to say



Things I learned from this video:

A butterfly has to struggle on their own to gain their strength to fly. You cannot force someone to be a christian because they will never have strength to fly on their own. You have to let people learn on their own and struggle to find their strength.

Before you come to the Lord you are one thing but something different happens with your life (you get all wrapped up in something different and try to figure out what it is). Then you are a new creation and you learn to fly on your own and bring glory to God!!

There is so much to be learned from this video and God is using it in powerful ways :)

The Great Thing About Jesus

So often people die (or say they will die) for people they love or righteous people die for good and righteous people.

But Jesus, a righteous man, die for those who didn't love him (yet) and are not even close to being called righteous. He died for those who will and continually spit in his face and run from him. I can only imagine Him wiping the spit off His face and saying 'it's okay. I would do it over 927485 million time just for you because I LOVE YOU that much'.

Creation

When I woke up Monday I really did not want to do my devotional because I had a two quizzes and a test and it was over creation (this usually makes me excited but not that morning). Anyway I did my devotional. I read Job 38 which said "who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb", "who laid out the path for lightning", "was it you who carved the canyons" and just mind blowing stuff. YOU SHOULD READ IT! Anyway I just remember how cool I though God was and again he humbled me by showing me how great He is.

So, what should happen when I get in chapel? We have a speaker who basically quotes the creation story and has BEAUTIFUL pictures of all the things God has created. Then what does the speaker quote... JOB 38! Please see how real the Lord is!

I was just so amazed by what happened and I was so joyful. I realized that the Lord is going to bless me even when it is something I don't want to do but He desires me to do. The Lord has been telling me that when I walk on HIS path it is so much better than what direction I would walk.

Later in the day, I was talking about it and then I realized it was my birthday and all day the Lord was showing me His creation. Then I realized, something I have known but was reemphasized, 'when you talk about Me I will fill you with joy, and when you talk about what I have shown you and have done you will get more out if it from other people because I communicate through them as well'.

Joy Filled

So lately, like since Thursday, I have been so joyful in the morning and something happens in the day and I get robbed of my joy. Seriously!! Sunday we talked a little in church about letting the devil rob us of our joy. DING DING DING DING: ephiphany: the devil is the one who has been taking my joy away... that little poop head... Today I prayed that God didn't let my joy get robbed from me. I had a wonderful day a little thing happened but it wasn't enought to rob me of my joy. Then at work... that's is when it happened. (Don't get me wrong I LOVE going to work! Sometimes it is challenging but so rewarding.) James, the down syndrome boy I attend to, did not want to cooperate. He just kept saying "no"... "no". So I was really tring to do puzzles with him and it was so hard because he did not want to be doing that and I just got fusturated and sad because I couldn't help him or really understand him. Getting him to go to dinner and then a bath and brushing his teeth and eyedrops were a NIGHTMARE! Needless to say it was just fit after fit, so I was just getting bogged down and robbed of my joy. Then when I was laying on his pillow putting him to bed I was just thinking how lucky I was to be working with him because even through all of this he would come and give me a hug or just look at me and laugh and it just filled me with so much joy!! So by the time I got in the car I was so JOYFUL!! But the devil didn't stop working... he let me see something I didn't want to while driving back to school. Then the the switchfoot song Gone came on. You know "gone, like yesterday is gone. tomorrow is too late.
** Here is where God gets even more awesome!! **
The Lord has laid this verse on my heart for a while now and it is 1 Chronicles 29:15 "our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace" but He also laid Psalm 9:1 "I will praise you LORD with all of my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done". For me it was like the LORD was telling me that I am blessed with a new day to tell of all the marvelous things he has done, not only to my christian friends but to nonchristians because the day will soon be gone and that opportunity will soon pass. SLAP IN THE FACE! Anyway then that song came on and just brought me so much joy! Then I was so excited to run back and tell my roommates but NONE of them were in the room and I feel like I was robbed of my joy AGAIN!! Then God just kind of revealed how awesome and in control and how he delights in every detail of my life (psalm 37:23) and it just made me joyful again.

To say the least even though at points in my day the devil robbed me of my joy the LORD refilled my joy and punched the devil in the face for me and it was awesome!!

Ps. This might be confusing but I wanted to tell the world how awesome He is and how His hand is at work in my life!

Pss. I wish I had time to say all the little things that the LORD is doing in my life but I just don't have that kind of time!! He has done SO MUCH!!

The Bible

For the past couple of days, maybe even weeks I feel like I don't have the same connection with God like I have had in the past. Not that I feel disconnected or even stagnant; I just feel like I haven't been growing like I should even though I have been doing my devotionals in the morning and praying. For one, I feel like I have been selfish in my prayer like praying a lot about myself.
Which isn't a bad thing but I feel like I should be less selfish in my ways and pray about others more than myself. Lately, I have felt like God has been so distant like a god I don't even know even though I see the great things He has done in my life and the conversations (and movies) he has spoke to me through.

Today I picked back up a book that I haven't touched since the beginning of summer called Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller. Chapter 4 really talks about the Bible. Miller talks about how us Christians see the Bible as a self help book rather than a love story or beautiful. He also talks about how modern Christians like to make list. We like to have steps for example: 1) Start going to church 2) Learn who Jesus is 3) Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior 4) Get baptised. We like to have thing broken down for us so we can say we checked off another thing on our list. Miller even says that "[he] grew up believing Christians didn't have to love God or anyone else; he just had to believe some things and be willing to take a stand for the things he believed." That breaks my heart that the gospel was presented that way, like a ticket into heaven will be enough. What's even more sad is that some Christians know that acting that way isn't enough but they still will not change the way they act or live.

I realized the other day that the Bible is kind of hard to read because it is written in a way that our books are not written. Books are written in list or sequential form, and the Bible is not written like that at all. Well, the Bible sort of is, but it is written in a more poetic fashion. Miller says that "poetry is a literary tool that has the power to give a person the feeling he isn't alone in those emotions, that. though there are no words to describe them, somebody understands." Going back to list, Miller gives the example if you make a list of all the great things about your girlfriend and recite it over a candle light dinner it is not going to be as romantic as if you would write her a poem describing the way she is rather than just listing. That's the way God acts. Miller says as Christians we like to break things up so it can be easy to understand but if we break things up too much we lose the meaning. Miller, "list might [be] accurate, [but] it certainly [are not as] meaningful."

God is wrote a love story for us and we try to break it down to the basics and turn it into list. Miller says "the separation of truth from meaning is a dangerous game." My favorite quote Miller says is "perhaps if we stop reducing the text to formulas (lists) for personal growth, we can read it as stories of imperfect humans having relations with a perfect God and come to understand the obvious message He is communicating to mankind."

We cannot break down the bible into list of how we should live because the meaning of the message is lost when we do because the message become simpler and that doesn't make an "impact on the way we live our lives of think about God."

What I have learned (although I already knew) is that God wants that personal relationship with us, but we water down what He has to say to us and when we do that we lose the love story, the poetic parts of His word just so it can be made simpler to us and faster for us to understand.

Life Gets Crazy...

WOW! Summer has gone by so fast so far. I just got back from church camp and it was AMAZING, but before I talk about that I want to update you on what has been happening in my life.

Well, I guess the only thing important that happened was Josh and I became certified scuba divers!! It was so much fun and I cannot wait to go diving in the ocean... as long as I don't see animals bigger than me. PS. We wen down 55 feet and it was dark and cold!

Camp. I've been so busy since I last blogged because we have been preparing for camp. We had to make TONS of videos, plan stuff, pack stuff and yadda yadda (so I, as well as Josh, were at the church in the morning until the afternoon and then running to scuba class or working on the online stuff for scuba), but it was totally worth it. Camp was so good. It was weird being on the other side of things and at times I felt totally unconnected with the students and adults because we were doing so much behind the scenes stuff. I did get to have some really good conversations with some girls at camp and I cannot wait to grow closer to those girls and everyone at the church. Even though camp was tough at times (Josh and I fought one day because he wasn't listening to me and I was getting a little stressed because Josh Herweck went to the emergency room... but that is another story) it was very encouraging. Herweck told me one night that he could tell that I was supposed to be here at camp and a few people told me that they could tell I changed from last year to now. Not that I am trying to brag on myself because I didn't change for myself I changed for the Lord. It was just encouraging to know that I am truly changing even though I cannot see it day to day it is noticeable.

I could go on and on but I want to update you on a few upcoming events.
This Wednesday I am speaking at church. Like instead of Herweck speaking I am... Yeah pray for me that I have the words to say, my nerves get calmed, and people will listen and understand what I am trying to get across.
I also have VBS and possible going on the college mission trip at the end of June.
I'm going on a mission trip to Seattle Washington July 10th-17th.
And also pray for me because y'all know I like to plan and I already planned out my schedule from next semester until graduation and this summer I planned to take World Lit online so I signed up for summer I but I had to withdraw because camp interfered. Now I need to take it in summer II but mission trip is going to interfere. Yeah, so it's not a big deal now, but if I don't take it this summer I am going to be stuck with taking 3 English classes one semester (and y'all know how I stress) and it is going to throw off my graduation schedule I already planned! I know I'm just a worry wart and God will work it out.

I miss you guys so much and hope y'all are all doing wonderful as well!!

Locks of Love. Surgery. Speaking.

I ended up donating 13 and a half inches to locks of love. This is not the best picture but the only one I had.
Next, my surgery.

I thought pics might be fun to see!! :)

I had surgery yesterday because the doctors thought I might have endometriosis. I did not have it so thank EVERYONE for praying because if I would have had that it would be hard for me to have kids when I wanted them. If you want to know exactly what they did you can give me a call because I would rather not tell the whole entire world. :) The surgery went well and I'm moving around and I feel okay... not the best but it could be A LOT worse. Thank you again for your prayers. I love every single one of you.

Also! If you live close and would like to come hear me speak I am going to be speaking on June 16th at 7:00 at my church. It would give you an excuse to see me and you could probably stay a couple of days with me! Just let me know!